2008 Jan 27th - Joining the Gym

I've had a busy few days lately and that includes joining the gym. I've got sixteen months for the price of 12 and no joining fees so I figure while I've got some money, why not! I need to get out of the house and get into some sort of routine and I desperately need to get strong again. My muscles have wasted away so badly that I could only manage four minutes on the bike for the fitness test and my legs were aching and wobbly most of the afternoon and evening and I was so tired after just that and a few sit ups! Mind you I did have a rotten head cold at the time.

My lung function and BMI are fine, needless to say my muscle strength and everything else is rotten including my body fat ratio. Still, not much point going if it's all good is there! At least I'll get to see how much I've improved in a few months.

I've got a few more appointments for February now:

6th Feb - scan to check there are no new tumours (small sentence, BIG DEAL)
11th Feb - pre op checks (assuming no new tumours discovered else the op is off)
19th Feb - appointment with surgeon for a "visual" check on the joins and j-pouch
22nd Feb - surgery and a very UNtearful farewell to PTW

In the meantime I'm filling my days with gym appointments. I had to do my program plan in two sessions because of my cold - I nearly passed out after 5 minutes on a sit down bike and 5 minutes on the rower. I was just stood on the cross trainer and oooer missus I got the shakes and hot and cold sweats and had to go for a sit down. I had drunk nearly half my litre bottle of water by this point too so it wasn't dehydration.

I finished the plan off today with the trainer and went through which weight machines I can use to start with and she showed me some floor exercises to do - some with a giant ball - which will also help to strengthen my abs and legs since these are the weakest areas after lying around for the last year. I felt much better today and did a few lengths in the pool and too Phoenix with me - he persuaded me to sit in the spa which was GREAT! Never been in one before but it was lovely and warm and my hands and feet were much less "fizzy".

Despite having been out on Saturday night with Team Ferrer et al. I felt pretty good and had a very healthy salad with smoked salmon and feta cheese.

Monday I've booked in for a relaxation/toning class (all classes are included in membership) and Thursday for aquarobics in the evening and I'll do the gym on Tuesday, Friday and Sunday. It's a good set up because you can book any of the classes up to five days in advance and don't have to go to the same ones at the same time or even day so less chance of getting bored or missing anything.

I've got four weeks before surgery and I want to do something constructive. This year is all going to be about getting BETTER. Last year was killing cancer, this year I'm recovering from it. Unfortunately that means returning to work but I'm hoping that will be easier if I'm fitter before I go back.

I talked to my boss on Friday to make sure that going back part time was an option (they have to try to accommodate me, it's the law) so that's all sorted. I managed to have a chat with most people I wanted to see, those who haven't left at least! I got a lovely pep talk from G***** and a hug (that was the best bit) who's had way too much cancer and death in his family already and told me back in the days before Tyson was discovered that "cancer is going to be scared sh*tless when it realises who it's up against, it'll give up". He also told me I'm the only woman he knows who has bigger balls than him...............ahem. I hope he meant metaphorically and that my bag wasn't just a bit too full!

I'm off to bed now at a reasonable hour for a change - must get up in plenty of time so I'm not late for class tomorrow.

2007 Oct 8th - Well Enough To Be Poisoned!

Monday, October 08, 2007

Yeay! I’m well enough to be poisoned at last. Mmm chemo...mmm GCSF! Category: Life Well I was supposed to blog about Center Parcs but I've felt too rough to string a decent sentence together with my latest illness. Suffice to say we had a great time, very excited when we started seeing signs for Sherwood Forest and were doing little dances and punching the air (and waving to the other car). The swings were ACE, we felt obliged to send the kids off swimming for two hours "really, can we really stay for two hours mum? " whilst we tested all the park areas out. After the good news about my (fairly short lived) high of a score of 7 neutraphils I decided to ignore feeling tired and enjoy the fresh air. We did a lot of walking, maybe a little too much but still even being physically drained I struggled to sleep, thoughts churning round in my head as usual. We all had an ensuite bathroom in each of the three bedrooms - the boys even had a spa bath! The sauna didn't get used, but the oven, hob, dishwasher and shopping the Foundation delivered did! Friday night we all sat down for an italian, being of small appetite these days I only had a pizza and forced down an amaretto liqueur coffee, as did Bex. The kids all enjoyed their meals and it all tasted scrumptious! Saturday was facial day, soccer school for Luke and zip wire for Phin. The girls went to a cartoon workshop for a couple of hours. They all went swimming in the afternoon whilst we entertained our very special guest (who came armed with lovely presents!). Sunday the sore throat I had hoped was dehydration all weekend proved to be my worst day, but Pilates was excellent! We both want to take it up if funds allow since it's good for core strength and is OK for me to do with the ileostomy - in fact it's very good to help avoid hernias. More soccer school, wall climbing (I have Phin's exploits on camera) and a virtual fashion session for the girls who designed their own t-shirts. I got a bit crabby with the kids because I felt so rotten, but I think I got away with it and didn't upset anyone for long? We had a carvery which wasn't that great to be honest, the veg was very undercooked and maybe it was my cold but it was a bit of a let down - still the second bottle of fizzy booze Umpa packed and the chocolate for grown ups soon made up for that hehe. Monday was 3 steps to heaven day - back massage (and boy did everything ache and feel "glandy" by Monday) and scrub, facial, head massage. I'm not sure how I'd have driven home if I hadn't had that hour of indulgence - but when I did get home I went straight to bed and slept for two hours. Glad to be home but it was very quiet with three people missing. Tuesday - as you know was reject from chemo due to my sore throat and germs. Fast forward to today (lets just say retail therapy was necessary this weekend - including new bedding which is VERY pretty but also very expensive looking, yet not too girly). 11.30 appointment (oops hang on that means sis can't take me so I'm on my own with back up collection after she finishes work) and arrived only 5 minutes late. I managed to wave some eyeliner at my eyes but it didn't make them look any less red raw. Thankfully although I was still sounding a bit like a Tunes advert "secud clath rethurn thoo dothingham pleathe", my neutraphils were still holding out a 3.9, now my red cells are dropping a bit so keeping an eye on that.........I see a blood transfusion on the horizon, platelets however got a nice boost after the GCSF injections. I sat in the corner near one of my chemo mates who was very happy (never had bad blood results EVER) being connected to his 12th and final pump. Hopefully they will no be able to operate on his metastases in his liver and maybe remove the primary bowel cancer (he's stage 4). When they left, he and his wife both gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and we wished each other well. I'm planning on making him an "I've been a good patient and finished all my nasty chemo" laminated badge tomorrow! In fact I'm going to make a few in case anyone else finishes while I'm still attending. He's going to sneak some vodka or gin in with my glucose IV on Wednesday when we go to be disconnected from our pumps - only three more to go after this one YEEHAH! Lisa (now at last promoted to sister) gave me my blood results to fill in the gaps in my chemo record book just in case I fall down in a faint or something and a stranger finds me or summat........... I'll be doing a little chart of my results because it's been a while since I did anything like analysis (try over 6 months) and I'm getting withdrawl symptoms from being a geek. I'm going to miss that ward. I shall be sooo happy not to need to go again (please please no recurrence needing crappy chemo ever) but they're like my cancer family in there. I rarely feel miserable in there because it's a place of hope. I still remember the tears when I finished chemo and radiation at Lincoln earlier this year - it was very emotional, not least because I knew I would never see John again. He didn't have long left, but you'd never know it to talk to him. Anyway...I even managed a shuffle round Aldi with the aid of a trolley to get some essential lunchbox items for the kids and some handy instant food for me this week. Already the spazzy hands have shown themselves, but in no way as bad as the first three cycles on full dosage. I think the B6 is helping with that too. I ate bacon, toast, fried tomatoes and some of aunty Susan's spiced plum chutney for lunch followed by a mouth numbing tirarmisu from the fridge (yep chemo mouth freeze strikes again). I feel very achey today, very glandy so can't really tell I'm on chemo because of the cold virus - a bonus in my eyes! Poor sis has it too - oops. So the diary for this week - Tuesday - Pobster cooking me dinner again or fetching a take out so we can wii to our hearts content, delivery permitting! Wednesday - hospital for disconnection Thursday - visit from Katy Friday - visit from district nurse for jab 1 of GCSF Saturday - visit from district nurse for jab 2 of GCSF Sunday - visit from district nurse for jab 3 of GCSF Phew thank heavens I'm incapacitated - I don't have time for work. P S - forgot to mention there is more green stuff weeping from my PICC site so this time I got swabbed for MRSA.......I know that's what the swab was because they shoved the black covered giant q-tip up my nose on admission prior to surgery! 18:57 - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	Billy Bollockchops	The Center Parcs pics are brilliant! My Wii is in the van apparently and I'm at home waiting for it. I hope it comes before I go out to meet Brek Abitochoklitov for lunch. PS: I'm still not sure what I'm making tonight :-.. Posted by Billy Bollockchops on Wednesday, October 10, 2007 at 11:10 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Umpalumpa	*sneezes very loudly* Cor blimey, you are a busy bee. Would there be a slot in your diary perhaps for a yummy chai latte and grown ups chocolate with no less than 85% cocoa solids mmmmm? Hope the chemo mouth/fingers/legs are not giving you too much grief. xxxxxx xxxx xx x *sneezes even louder* Posted by Umpalumpa on Wednesday, October 10, 2007 at 11:10 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	janey jane jane	Ask Pob where he got his Wii from. I can't get one for love nor money over here. Tar lovey xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Posted by janey jane jane on Monday, October 15, 2007 at 23:22 [Remove] [Reply to this]

Lisa Left Eye Loopylalalalala

I think you'll find it was I who solved this problem for him hahaaha! I am a total genius, he was traipsing round shops and I surfed the net. I'll message you privately because I want one and I think I know someone else ..........so we could combine postage maybe? Posted by Lisa Left Eye Loopylalalalala on Monday, October 15, 2007 at 23:33

2007 Jun 26th - Post Op Surgeon Appt.

26 Jun 2007

Surgeon's visit Category: Life Yesterday I had my stitches out. Nice district nurse came and donned plastic pinny, gloves and a pair of tweezers. She tackled the big loop from my belly button to above the lady bits and cut it........then tugged (I did lots of deep SLOW breathing and meditated on a spot on mum's spare room ceiling) then paused as it hurt, this went on several times as inch by inch the blue nylon came out oooo it did not feel nice. The smaller loop was easier as it was only a couple of inches long and straight. Felt quite wibbly afterwards! I have today completed exemption form for prescriptions and nice lady Shirley at mum's surgery (temp resident again at my old surgery whilst staying at Mum's Private Hospital, hurrah) stamped it for me (she's allowed) and posted it first class. Considering the disabled badge application now as I went to see my lovely surgeon today.......... Tyson's two kids (Beavis and Butthead) who were growing in my lymph nodes (big enough to be on scans) were still bloody there when they did the op. Therefore I get to keep PTW for next lot of chemo which will be 4 to 6 months worth (blood checks every fortnight could mean it takes longer). Surgeon reckons I'll be well enough for reversal around March 2008. He really is such a lovely man, he said I'd been a really good patient and it had been a pleasure to treat me. He also did me a massive favour which I can't really publicise - but all I can say is, it was entirely his decision and purely down to him being a truly lovely man. Needless to say there was some eye leakage!!!! He asked if I had anything else to ask or say and all I could think of was THANK YOU! AND he didn't want to poke my new rectum either, just admire his sewing, which we've all complimented him on - his wife says he should be making curtains for the house and I had to agree. My scar at three weeks is mostly a very thin 1mm dark line and the neatest thing I've ever seen. He also offered to arrange some counselling for me as he's concerned and puzzled by me appearing so together and never sobbing in his office, even at diagnosis but still unable to bloody sleep longer than 2 hours at a time after 3 weeks. Yawwwwwwn. I'm considering it but again, work have a free private service I might take advantage of just to get my money's worth! Went to see stoma nurse again to check on the bit of PTW that had separated from my tummy - it's healing nicely and she took the other three "dissolvable" stitches out that refuse to dissolve in me! Still grounded by my mum, but being allowed out to play at my own house on Thursday but only cos I've got my boss friend Angela staying over. Family 18th party on Saturday afternoon so looking forward to that, may indulge in some watered down wine.......... Bottoms up!

2007 June 4th - Major Lifesaving Surgery

Monday, June 04, 2007

Surgery updates/progress bulletins........ Category: Life As you will now know, unless you've been a tardy reader of my blog, I will be having my op on Wednesday 6th June. I'll be admitted at 10am on Tuesday morning for pre op tests just to make sure I'm fit enough for the whole procedure so am unlikely to be able to post after Monday evening. My special little sister Beckie (Umpalumpa) will post a reply to this very blog on Wednesday evening at some point just so you'll know I'm back in the land of the living, albeit drugged up to the eyes with the best pain relief money can buy - I believe an epidural is thrown in and I never had one of those for the three times I went into labour so that's gotta be a bonus eh? I've done a bit of visiting friends at the last minute so sorry if I didn't get round to you but seriously my head is all over the place right now. Alfie is safely deposited chez Angela where I'm sure she'll be spoiled rotten and fattened up a treat. I had a little tear when I drove away (at Angela, not the rabbit!!) but had a word with myself and managed to see all the way home - always useful I find. I had a nice "normal, just like old times Before Cancer" evening sat around the chimnea with Lesley, Hannah and Alex which was lovely, I was a bit hysterical I think and overly jolly and was grinning nervously most of the time. Polished off two glasses of red wine when I got home - which made me feel AWFUL this morning, despite the gallon of water I drank but it's the old last supper thing isn't it - I mean the tumour is going so I'm sure all these weeks of abstinence won't be undone by two glasses at this late stage. I think I'd better head off to bed, there's a lot to be done tomorrow! See you all soon. Lisa xx 6:48 - 13 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	Hannah	See you soon sweetie, as soon as I read you're up to visitors I shall co-ordinate with Lesley and come n see you. If we can't come together I will take a wander up while kids are in school. Don't worry(yeah right!) everything is going to be fine. Luv ya. x Posted by Hannah on Sunday, June 03, 2007 at 23:15 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Hayley	Hey Mate, Thinking of you and keeping everything crossed, need you to recover quickly so you can come out here and make fun of my jelly belly! Hayley xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Posted by Hayley on Monday, June 04, 2007 at 06:31 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	janey jane jane	Hey you, take good care of yourself and get Becky to send me the hozzie address so I can post you something. God who am I going to talk to on MSN on a drunken Friday night. I had such a hangover and I'd only had 3 Jack Daniels for goodness sake. Love you lots xxx Posted by janey jane jane on Monday, June 04, 2007 at 08:33 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Umpalumpa	The day before.............. We arrived at the hospital early, laughing like school girls because a) after 'expertly' reversing the car into a parking spot I got Lisa's bag out of the boot and managed to trap approximately half a tree in the boot when I shut it b) the bag itself was almost as big as me and I nearly toppled over c) the little 'I DOG' I got for her was barking and whining all the way there Lisa's room is lovely, with patio doors and a garden outside which will make her stay more comfortable I'm sure, along with the 'Hotel Service' (although unfortunately she won't get to appreciate the full A la Carte Menu on offer) - couldn't see a mini bar anywhere though! A nurse came and asked her a gazillion questions, took BP etc. and after watching a little TV I left her to go to work. I went back at tea time with Karys, by which time she had taken 2 sachets of Picolax (hope thats spelt right) All I can report so far, is that she is (quote) 'chuffing hungry' and has had 13 explosive and watery bowel movements between the hours of 12:35 and 19:45. Not surprisingly, Lisa feels quite wobbly, only being allowed clear watery fluids today. The Operation is at 9:00am. I am going to see her before she goes, and will let you know how she got on tomorrow evening. Beckie x Posted by Umpalumpa on Tuesday, June 05, 2007 at 22:26 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Umpalumpa	Day One Sorry for the late update, but as you can imagine, it has been one of the most worrying days ever. I arrived at Lisa's room 7.40am - early I know, but didn't want to risk not seeing her before she was taken to theatre. I was greeted by Lisa and her new friend - Dolly the Drip!! The nurses had put a 'baby octopus' in her arm which connects to Dolly! Lisa had a pair of oooh so sexy stockings on (made to measure - we have photos, of course) and the operating gown, which I have to say has improved since I went to theatre i.e. your bum doesn't show! 8.40am I saw a hospital porter outside the room doors and my heart sank. Lisa was wheeled out the room, (and then wheeled back in as the aneasthetist needed to see her). After he left, I followed them to the operating floor, they let me stay for a while, and put her hat on/got her on the bed etc. ooh and Lisa insisted they let me look at photos of Tyson (ugly horrible nasty little B*****d grrrrr). Lisa was smiling and so, so brave but the floodgates opened (mine).. It was time for her to be wheeled away and I just found it so hard to leave her. I felt really guilty afterwards because she was so brave but I couldn't stop it. The nurse took me back and told me to get a drink before I went. It was a long day - I went to work for 2 hours but looked at the clock probably 20 times an hour and at 2.30 I phoned but was told there was no news. At 3.15 I rang again and was told that she was out of theatre but in the recovery room as there was no space in ICU (gggggrrrrr). I got to the hospital ICU at 5.20 (with Lisa's daughter) and we were told she was STILL in recovery and should come back in 45 minutes. So we did, only to learn that she infact got out at 2.10 and spent the best part of 4 hours in the recovery ward. Anyway - I was just so relieved to see her. She has tubes coming out of everywhere possible, Drains/Catheter/Drips, a central line, mask on face, monitors (basically very scary stuff). They said she needs 4 units of blood, these started when we got there. She was a little sick, which was really scary for her as I know she was worried about her stomach, but she was fine and was given some anti sickness drugs, along with something to stop the itching (aparently due to the epidural) She was looking very pale, but talked for a while and made jokes with the nurses about the catheter etc. Apparently her temperature went up to 38 while in theatre. Her Son arrived and I know Lisa was really pleased to see the children, likewise they were so happy to their mum. I can't give any details about the operation itself as the ICU staff only keep her stable, they don't get to know much about the procedure. Hopefully we will find out more tommorrow. As I said to Lisa, its TYSON '0' - LISA '1' (to which she replied actually its TYSON '0' - LISA '1' & PICOLAX '15' There is still a long long way to go but she will get there, I have every bit of faith in her, and we will help her all the way. Posted by Umpalumpa on Wednesday, June 06, 2007 at 22:22 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Umpalumpa	Day 2 Saw Lisa This afternoon, she was quite uncomfortable as you can imagine. The surgeon has been, he said he thinks he got a good clear margin, and although it is a big operation, it went straightforward. Unfortunately her epidural was only working on one side so she was in pain today, till they sorted her out with other pain relief. She looks exhausted, not helped by the constant beepity beeps in ICU, as she can't sleep very well, just short naps really. I think she'll be glad to get to her room, for sleep catchup! Its so upsetting watching her suffer, I want to wave a magic wand and take it all away but I cant. Saw her again tonight and she was much, much better, they have sorted the epidural and its made her feel so much better. Mum is back (yay!) and it was very emotional. I couldn't believe the difference in her, in just a couple of hours. She is such a fighter.......................... Posted by Umpalumpa on Thursday, June 07, 2007 at 22:38 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Umpalumpa	Day 3 Lisa is now back in her private room. ICU decided to take ALL her lines out (including the antibiotics and fluids that were still needed) so when I first saw her tonight she was very uncomfortable. Once the painkillers they had given her started to work, she was looking much better again, I just don't see why they put her through this, she has a huge wound that needs pain relief to keep her comfortable. On the whole she does look great though, she managed to move herself around the bed well, and has eaten JELLY AND ICE CREAM!!!! If they just manage to control the pain relief, it will be so much better for her. Also hoping she sleeps better now she is away from the noise of ICU (although I think secretly she will miss the nurses gossiping at night hee hee) Each day she gets stronger, she is doing so well............ Posted by Umpalumpa on Friday, June 08, 2007 at 22:41 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Umpalumpa	What can I say - She looks absolutely amazing considering she had major surgery just days ago. They removed the drain (big big ouch) and catheter this morning, so she was able to start moving about. Mum and I arrived just before lunchtime, she got out of bed a number of times to empty her bag and was sitting in a chair when we left. She also had friends visit today, and has started booking appointments for people to visit!! (well, she is a popular lady!) I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm very proud her, I think we all are. Posted by Umpalumpa on Saturday, June 09, 2007 at 19:31 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Umpalumpa	Lisa is still progressing really well. She looks so well considering the ordeal she has been through this week. (My fiancee Steve was amazed) Unfortunately her bag leaked during the night which was very upsetting, but she seems to have picked herself up very well indeed. When we left this evening, she was tucking into a Jacket Potato (minus the skin) with prawns! Posted by Umpalumpa on Sunday, June 10, 2007 at 19:23 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Umpalumpa	Today, Lisa was very tired. She is still looking really well, but she has been through such an ordeal, the lack of sleep isn't helping really i guess. The hospital are really pleased with her progress, and suggested possibly Wednesday/Thursday to be discharged. Posted by Umpalumpa on Monday, June 11, 2007 at 17:36 [Remove]

	Umpalumpa	Great news................ Lisa will be discharged on Thursday, when she will go to Mum's house, to recuperate further! They removed her dressings today and she is looking forward to having a shower!. The swelling in her tummy goes down a little each day, and the scar is very scary and multi-coloured (to match the bruises from various lines they put in/attempted to put in) but healing well. I can't believe its a week tomorrow since they operated. It is amazing how quickly the human body can begin to heal from something so serious. Posted by Umpalumpa on Tuesday, June 12, 2007 at 21:20 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Umpalumpa	Lisa was really pleased to see the 'surprise' relative today. Again, her tummy has gone down some more, she still looks very tired though bless her. I will sign out now as Lisa's 'reporter', I know you can't wait to hear from her! Posted by Umpalumpa on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 at 21:00 [Remove] [Reply to this]

Umpalumpa

Lisa was feeling very poorly today, she has no energy so they decided to keep her in. Her back was aching quite a bit, and she feels sick, which makes it realy hard for her to eat anything. They are monitoring her fluids in & out, and will see how she is tomorrow. Posted by Umpalumpa on Thursday, June 14, 2007 at 20:23