Friday, December 21, 2007
| Ho Ho Ho
Category: Life Hmmm. I've not got much to say for myself lately have I?
Chemo all done, still waiting for a follow up oncology appointment to discuss where I go from here with regard to checking for new tumours that the evil chemo cocktails may have missed. Instead I get Christmas cards and parcels and nice things, can't complain really!
I was thinking about looking back over recent blogs and trying to pinpoint exactly when and what combination of events triggered the recent upturn in my fortune and general mood. Then I decided - that would be silly, don't question it, just bask in it while it's here. So I am. I've finally been awarded the benefits I claimed for months ago and because I scrimped and saved during the months I was waiting for an outcome I'm reaping the rewards and so are the kids. They've never been spoiled by me at Christmas, or at any other time, but always got something they wanted. This year for the first time I can give them some presents and some cash and we're off on a jolly shopping trip in the county's capital to bag some bargains in the sales! I can't wait to come back loaded up with bags of clothes or whatever they decide to buy, that's the best bit about shopping - getting home with it all and spreading your goodies all over the living room/bed.
2007 wasn't all bad. I discovered who my real friends are, those who can cope in a crisis. I discovered that people you think really care about you sometimes remain selfish despite everything and that I don't need to allow people who have made and continue to make me unhappy into my life. Sounds simple but it's a big thing to get your head around when you're staring down the barrel of cancer's gun. Most importantly I've realised just how strong I am, and more surprisingly how strong my little Umpalumpa is. Some bonds just can't ever be broken, only strengthened and ours is one of them. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I LOVE YOU SIS AND THANK YOU.
I've also made some fantastic new friends, brought together by a common disease. Never underestimate the power of shared pain, concern and goodwill. The support we've shared, and it has been shared I believe, must have helped with our recoveries I'm sure. Just knowing there are other people out there having sleepless nights, sharing your fears, hopes, concerns and thinking up the same questions. 18 months ago I ran the Race for Life in memory of June Urry. For most of the time since I've been running a different kind of race for my own life and mental health. Thanks to the Macmillan forums I've not had to run it alone. The Bum Bandits are always on the sidelines cheering me on, some of them have already reached the finish line and some are way behind me. Every so often someone takes a tumble and needs more than a little TLC to get up and carry on but it's always there, almost on tap.
My children seem to have come through this year pretty well. There haven't been many tears, which has been a worry in case they've been bottling things up. I'm pretty sure that because I've been mostly gung ho about this whole cancer thing that they've either gone along with it by following my example or I've managed to play everything down sufficiently to allay their fears.
I think Santa really did read my letter you know, because he sent me a very special early present on top of the magic blood results for my last chemo. It feels so good to smile.
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